The best and worst 2 months, ever.

((As a side note, if you know me in person and you read this, please don't mention it. To anyone. PLEASE. It's embarrassing enough to have to admit it to myself, but I need to tell someone and the internet is safe enough for anonymity, but I know a few people I know personally read this. I had to tell someone. Thanks.)

It all started on June 1st of this year. Well, for me it was May 31st, but the official paperwork calls it June 1st, so that's what we'll call it. That day, or night, rather, it was 4 in the morning, I quit my very good (read: well paying) job at Seneca Allegany Casino and Hotel to pursue what I told my family were "better opportunities somewhere I didn't have to work 3rd shift." Two months later, here I am, writing this on a dying laptop by the light of a 9 watt bulb powered by D batteries, none of which I bought for myself. It's 11.30 at night, normally at that time of night my apartment would be ablaze with lights, sounds, and movement from my television set. Not so tonight. You see, 4 days ago, my electric got turned off.

When I quit my job I was only mildly in debt. I had a few unpaid bills, but not enough to seriously worry about. Plus, I figured, I had enough saved up to live on for at least a month, two, if I were strict with my spending. That gave me two to three weeks to find a job, I figured. I wasn't at all worried. Actually, I was happy with my self for finally doing the thing I've been saying I was going to do for a while now.

What can I say? I was twenty one and stupid as hell.

All went well for a bit. I was as happy and relaxed as I could have been. For a whole week, I didn't pay for a single meal that I ate. I spent loads more time with my then flirt-crush (now boyfriend) and I got to sleep at night for once, instead of trying to do it during the day. In that week I managed to spend time with my father (something I slacked on when I was working) and I went to the movies at nine o'clock at night, instead of six, or midnight. The flirt-crush and I went from hugs to kisses. All was good in my life. Well, except my best friend wouldn't talk to me for a few days. But we both knew that she'd get over it. The only reason she was really mad was because we spent most of our time at work talking to each other. As soon as she found someone else to talk to or managed to finally switch shifts, she'd be fine.

I didn't bother to look for a job that first week. As I said, I figured I could go on living unemployed for a month before I had to begin to worry. I also managed to track down my unemployment money that hadn't been processed from when I was laid off in December (I started back to work in the beginning of February). The unemployment money was over seven hundred dollars and a nice safety net for me to fall back on if I happened to be unemployed still after a month. And that, I assured myself, would never happen.


Okay, I need the laptop power to get me through the night, so I'm going to leave the story there for now. I'll post more tomorrow. Promise.

2 comments:

Heather said...
August 25, 2009 at 5:43 PM

Not that this is particularly helpful, but most of us go through some period of financial despair. Just do what you've gotta do - work in a drive-thru, stock groceries, umpire little league, whatever - and you'll get back on your feet. We're here to cheer you on.

JessAnn said...
August 26, 2009 at 2:37 AM

Thanks Heather. I appreciate the cheering. I forgot to mention that I'd applied to most everywhere in Olean after I got over myself. I even applied to my last resort place, Taco Bell. Sadly, they don't want my services either.

Post a Comment