Dude! It's a bogus liscensed game!

Posted by JessAnn on , , , ,
If you asked me what my favorite video game was when I was 6, I'd have answered, without a doubt, Bill and Ted (for my NES). I've traded in a ton of NES games since then, and have even upgraded to the Playstation (and from there, the Playstation 2), but I never quite had the heart to get rid of my old Nintendo system, or a few of the games. And even after 5 or 6 moves (two of those cross-country) and 15 years, I still have my NES and my six-year-old self's favorite video game, Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure. And even though I'll pick up the game and play it every now and then, it is no longer my favorite game in the whole world. It's not even on my top ten, nor is it on my top fifty. (It is on my top 100 though, only because I've not played 100 console games.)

If you were to read the Wikipedia article on Bill and Ted, you might figure that the game sounds completely horrible. Well, that's because it is. But, like so many of the games on Facebook today, it's very addictive, if you've nothing better to do with your time. You walk your little 8-bit version of either Ted or Bill (you don't get to choose which one, but it doesn't matter, they have the same skills) around a map in various points in history and try to locate two things. First, you'll need bait to get your historical dude to come with you, then you'll need to actually find said historical dude. There's no treasure chests nor hidden areas. Just lots of trees, rocks, bushes, fences, and houses.

Ted taking a walk in the Modern World, notice the rocks and the bushes.

Bill pretending to be a cowboy in Western World. In this instance, trees are replaced with cacti. This is because we all know that trees don't grow in Old West times.

You also have to be careful not to get carted off to jail, because the only way to get out of jail is with a skeleton key. The keys act like a life in this game. Run out of keys and the game is over. There are a few ways to get thrown into jail, but the most popular one is to get caught wandering around by a Crazed Jailer Dude (not kidding, that's what they're called in the game book). I've found the easy way to stay away from the Crazed people is by jumping off the path, because while the primitive natives have to stay on the marked path, you don't because you're from the future and you can do whatever the heck you want.

Bill running from a Crazed Jailer Dude in Ancient World.

Ted must have pissed someone off in Medieval World.
(Sad as this is, I know it's the owner of the Jester's Bar and Grille from this cap. I've pissed him off an awful lot myself. So much, I don't go talk to him anymore.)

There is a plot to Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure, but I haven't read the 3 screens of game play where it actually takes place in years. But, according to various sites, time travelling rebels have stolen various historical figures and placed them in points in the past. Your job is to go to the past, find the historical dudes, and take them back where they belong. You must do this, because if you don't, Wyld Stallyns will be doomed to be a shitty band forever. (Or something like that, I really didn't read the plot on the web either. I scanned it, Rufus sums it up quite nicely though.) The plot really doesn't matter in this game, because it never comes up in the actual game play. The rebels are never seen and you don't have to pick a lock or anything to get your historical dude back to his own time.

How to find bait for your historical dudes and dudettes in Bill and Ted:

Step 1: Find a collection of fences, rocks, and bushes off of the beaten path.

Step 2: Jump on over to where you think the bait might be hiding. Hope and pray that you've got the right spot as you land on your butt for the nine hundredth time today.

Step 3: Repeat, because you're looking for a Compact Disc for Thomas Edison, not a rose for Marilyn Monroe.

Now, how do you know which Historical Dude you're looking for in this game? Well, easy, you look them up in the phone book. If there is a red blinking phone number underneath their real number, it means that you have to go to whichever world they're in (indicated by the blinking phone number) and go find them!

Confucius says "No prank calls, please."

Because the maps in Bill an Ted are so huge and every piece of every map looks so similar, I make my own little maps in a notebook so I can have a layout of the area and write down where the bait is hidden and where the historical dudes tend to hang out. And since the last time I've played this game, I managed to (yet again) lose my little hand-drawn maps, so I'll be spending the next few days in the past jumping, landing on my butt, and jumping again so I can lure Cleopatra out of Colonial World with a few credit cards. Then Wyld Stallyns will truly be an awesome band, worthy of having Eddie Van Halen on guitar.

Why are Bill and Ted not looking at the audience?
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Scavenger Hunt 3 - The Search for Scissors

Last night, I was going to sew a few things, but realised I had lost my scissors somewhere between Halloween (the last time I sewed) and now. After I looked in all the usual spots (on the desk, behind the couch, under the bathtub, in the cupboard) I started really digging through things to find them. While I was on the hunt, I also found many other things of interest:

Fun labels I bought last Halloween to put on your bottles,

Many many sided dice,

Lots and lots of piratey tattoos (that I immediately put on),

Four identical staplers (I think I have a fifth in the kitchen),

An old picture of me as a blonde,

a disposable camera that hasn't been developed yet,

And my scissors, of course!