Thanksgiving '09, a story. (A bit late)

Thanksgiving 2009, a story.

That's my Gramma Julie, mother to my father, and known crazy lady. Back in the middle of November, at a ham and turkey raffle, she asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving, laying down the hint that she had absolutely nothing to do, should I care to invite her to wherever I was going. I told her that I'd probably do the same thing I'd done the last two years: drive around town with Dad for twenty minutes while he claims he knows the Chinese buffet was open, and then end up going to Perkins, because it's the only place that's open.

She replied with, "Oh, well, Jo Ellen and I usually do something, but I don't know if we're going to this year."

I smiled, freshened her beer, and went about selling raffle tickets at fifty cents a pop.

Fast forward a few days, I'm ringing the bell for the Salvation army with my aunt Jo Ellen, and we're talking about the upcoming holiday. She's not planning on doing anything either, not even going out with her mother. She was going to go to the auction, eat turkey there, then come home and rest.

Idea!

"We should have a Thanksgiving dinner, because Lord knows I'm sick of Perkins' shitty turkey substitute," I told her.

She thought, "Joe and them used to come over for dinner, but it got to be too many of them for my little house. We could do it, if we kept it small."

I listed off the people in out family that didn't have a Thanksgiving to go to, which amounted to a total of six people, including us. And thus, it was born, Thanksgiving in Eldred, PA. Invitees were called or texted at lunch that day, and by the time we rang the bell again, two days later, we were ready to assign food dishes for people.

Thanksgiving day, Mickey and I picked up Grandma around three thirty, and made the trek over to Eldred. We thought we'd be late, because instead of making the pie and the mashed potatoes the night before, we woke up at noon Thursday and made them (we also did the laundry and cleaned the car). But, luckily, we made it there just in time, four on the dot, and before my Dad and Sally, which meant we weren't really late.

Since aunt Ellen hadn't cooked a turkey in decades, the Turkey was nearly overdone by the time we all got there, so instead of having munchies and sitting around until five, which was the original plan, we set out to setting the table, carving the turkey, reheating the side dishes people brought, and talking to my cousin Kim, who called so she could talk to most the family in one go.

After dinner, and desert, we retired to living room, while Sally cleaned (because that's what she does). Aunt Ellen, Dad, Gramma Julie, and I played Wii bowling, while Mickey watched. It was a close game, except for my father, who was a few strikes behind.

Dad came in last place, which we all kind of figured, and Gramma Julie, Aunt Ellen, and I were all only a pin away from each other. Aunt Ellen placed in third, and guess what.

My 89 year old crazy Grandmother beat me in Wii bowling.

But only by 1 point.

Video Post - Vlogging

Dude! It's a bogus liscensed game!

If you asked me what my favorite video game was when I was 6, I'd have answered, without a doubt, Bill and Ted (for my NES). I've traded in a ton of NES games since then, and have even upgraded to the Playstation (and from there, the Playstation 2), but I never quite had the heart to get rid of my old Nintendo system, or a few of the games. And even after 5 or 6 moves (two of those cross-country) and 15 years, I still have my NES and my six-year-old self's favorite video game, Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure. And even though I'll pick up the game and play it every now and then, it is no longer my favorite game in the whole world. It's not even on my top ten, nor is it on my top fifty. (It is on my top 100 though, only because I've not played 100 console games.)

If you were to read the Wikipedia article on Bill and Ted, you might figure that the game sounds completely horrible. Well, that's because it is. But, like so many of the games on Facebook today, it's very addictive, if you've nothing better to do with your time. You walk your little 8-bit version of either Ted or Bill (you don't get to choose which one, but it doesn't matter, they have the same skills) around a map in various points in history and try to locate two things. First, you'll need bait to get your historical dude to come with you, then you'll need to actually find said historical dude. There's no treasure chests nor hidden areas. Just lots of trees, rocks, bushes, fences, and houses.

Ted taking a walk in the Modern World, notice the rocks and the bushes.

Bill pretending to be a cowboy in Western World. In this instance, trees are replaced with cacti. This is because we all know that trees don't grow in Old West times.

You also have to be careful not to get carted off to jail, because the only way to get out of jail is with a skeleton key. The keys act like a life in this game. Run out of keys and the game is over. There are a few ways to get thrown into jail, but the most popular one is to get caught wandering around by a Crazed Jailer Dude (not kidding, that's what they're called in the game book). I've found the easy way to stay away from the Crazed people is by jumping off the path, because while the primitive natives have to stay on the marked path, you don't because you're from the future and you can do whatever the heck you want.

Bill running from a Crazed Jailer Dude in Ancient World.

Ted must have pissed someone off in Medieval World.

(Sad as this is, I know it's the owner of the Jester's Bar and Grille from this cap. I've pissed him off an awful lot myself. So much, I don't go talk to him anymore.)

There is a plot to Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure, but I haven't read the 3 screens of game play where it actually takes place in years. But, according to various sites, time travelling rebels have stolen various historical figures and placed them in points in the past. Your job is to go to the past, find the historical dudes, and take them back where they belong. You must do this, because if you don't, Wyld Stallyns will be doomed to be a shitty band forever. (Or something like that, I really didn't read the plot on the web either. I scanned it, Rufus sums it up quite nicely though.) The plot really doesn't matter in this game, because it never comes up in the actual game play. The rebels are never seen and you don't have to pick a lock or anything to get your historical dude back to his own time.

How to find bait for your historical dudes and dudettes in Bill and Ted:

Step 1: Find a collection of fences, rocks, and bushes off of the beaten path.

Step 2: Jump on over to where you think the bait might be hiding. Hope and pray that you've got the right spot as you land on your butt for the nine hundredth time today.

Step 3: Repeat, because you're looking for a Compact Disc for Thomas Edison, not a rose for Marilyn Monroe.

Now, how do you know which Historical Dude you're looking for in this game? Well, easy, you look them up in the phone book. If there is a red blinking phone number underneath their real number, it means that you have to go to whichever world they're in (indicated by the blinking phone number) and go find them!

Confucius says "No prank calls, please."

Because the maps in Bill an Ted are so huge and every piece of every map looks so similar, I make my own little maps in a notebook so I can have a layout of the area and write down where the bait is hidden and where the historical dudes tend to hang out. And since the last time I've played this game, I managed to (yet again) lose my little hand-drawn maps, so I'll be spending the next few days in the past jumping, landing on my butt, and jumping again so I can lure Cleopatra out of Colonial World with a few credit cards. Then Wyld Stallyns will truly be an awesome band, worthy of having Eddie Van Halen on guitar.

Why are Bill and Ted not looking at the audience?